The Seduction of Self-Righteousness: Part 3
So if self-righteousness is so dangerous, how can you identify it and guard your heart against becoming hard and numb to the love of God?
Here are 6 marks of self-righteousness:
1. Living like good works save you, not God’s grace
“But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life” (Titus 3:4-7)
The merciful, unconditional loving-kindness of God caused Jesus to embrace the cross, forgive and cleanse us of all sin, and bring us into his resurrection life. Your scorecard of all the right or wrong you could do was not part of the equation.
2. The soil of your heart becomes bitter
The only way self-righteousness can grow is in the soil of bitterness. Bitterness towards God for what seems like him withholding good things from you—whether that be his love, a sense of acceptance, favor, wealth, success, health, etc. Your experiences in life do not align with who you think God should be, and it creates bitterness.
When in reality, it is your view of God that has become skewed. He’s a Father to have a relationship with and know, not a vending machine to punch the right numbers into and make the right payment so you can get what you want from him. And instead of repenting and approaching God humbly, self-righteousness causes you to double down and work harder, thinking that you just haven’t paid the right price yet. Ironically, self-righteousness and self-condemnation seem to come together as a package deal.
3. Contempt grows like a weed in your heart
If self-righteousness turns the soil of your heart bitter, then the weeds that grow from that soil are contempt for others. To treat someone with contempt is to despise them; it is to treat them as if they have no value or importance. And as such, they are easily dismissed, disrespected, judged, and cast aside.
Contempt works both up and down in life. Up, in that those who appear to be more successful, better-off, more wealthy, more righteous, etc., are the ones you scrutinize the most, looking for any weakness or fault to deal with the jealousy you feel in your heart. Self-righteousness convinces you that there cannot be anything to be jealous of because you are the most important person in the room. So the feeling is a lie that comes from the facade the other person is putting on and just waiting for you to expose. Contempt works down in that you feel surrounded by others who are to be pitied for their less-than condition compared to you. They are not as enlightened as you. And when they dare to enjoy their lives while you are miserable in all of your rightness, they are deceived sinners, fully absorbed by their sinful depravity.
And just like that, contempt has wrapped itself around your heart, choking the life of God out of you!
4. You feel the need to keep explaining your behavior to maintain your “rightness”
One of the tell-tale signs of self-righteousness is that it always justifies sinful behavior. This also means that the foundation of your life is dependent on believing the lies you tell yourself about why your sin is not sin, why sin on this occasion is acceptable, if not preferable, why your sin is not as bad as someone else’s sin, and that your sin is forgivable because you are the victim.
Believing the lies of self-righteousness leads to a false life that is not based on truth. And a life built on a foundation of lies will eventually break and come crashing down.
On the other hand, truth doesn’t have to be justified. If you are walking in righteousness and the truth of God, you will not need to be justified in your behavior. Don’t live your life as a series of lies. Live out the truth of Christ. After all, he is “the way and the truth and the life” (John 14:6).
One of the tell-tale signs of self-righteousness is that it always justifies sinful behavior
5. Deflection becomes the norm
The Cambridge dictionary states that, in psychology, deflection is defined as,
The act of attacking of blaming another person rather than accepting criticism or blame for your own actions.1
You may logically believe that you are susceptible to sin and error. Any Christian can understand that we still sin. But when self-righteousness takes over, those beliefs are only true in theory. Because, in reality, you never encounter a situation where you are the one to blame. You are the victim. You are the one offended. You are the one that has been sinned against. And so no matter what claim of wrongdoing people lay at your feet, you deflect. It’s not your fault.
You obviously misunderstood me!
You’re too sensitive!
He started the fight!
She is the one who tempted me!
Deflect. Deflect. Deflect.
But all you are doing is desperately trying to protect your image and sense of self-importance—your self-righteousness. Because if you don’t have your self-righteousness, you’re not worth anything, right? If others don’t see your self-righteousness, you’re not important, right? If you give up your self-righteousness, your life will be empty and sad, right?
Wrong.
6. You live on praise and die by criticism
When you give in to self-righteousness, your life becomes a rollercoaster of emotions with exuberant highs and depressing lows. As long as the facade keeps up, everyone is impressed by you and is praising you; life is great! You are filled with happiness and a sense of value. You feel important. But you will soon discover that those are fleeting moments. Because the moment you receive criticism—even the most gentle and constructive criticism—everything falls apart! All kinds of feelings begin to surface from deep within your tortured soul: anger, offense, resentment, fear, anxiety, hate, humiliation, etc. And all of a sudden, you find yourself reacting horribly. And after the reaction—depression.
Self-righteousness causes you to be always willing to correct but never correctable. You are always ready to be the teacher but never the student. You always have the wisdom and truth that everyone else needs. But the moment someone confronts you with the wisdom and truth you need, the red-alert sirens go off in your head, and everything becomes about winning this confrontation.
You live on praise. You die by criticism. But all you are really doing is trying to survive off of the scraps that your self-righteousness tosses your way.
And that’s no way to live your life in this world!
If others don’t see your self-righteousness, you’re not important, right? If you give up your self-righteousness, your life will be empty and sad, right?
Wrong.
If you are being seduced by self-righteousness, it is most likely because you are searching for a sense of self-worth. You are searching for an identity that tells you that you are valuable.
There was one time when Jesus and his disciples were traveling back to Capernaum. Mark records the account:
“And they came to Capernaum. And when he was in the house he asked them, ‘What were you discussing on the way?’ But they kept silent, for on the way they had argued with one another about who was the greatest. And he sat down and called the twelve. And he said to them, ‘If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all.’” (Mark 9:33-35)
Notice that Jesus never rebuked them for wanting to be great! He just had to help them change how they understood “greatness.” According to Jesus, greatness in the Kingdom of God is about being the servant of all. If you want to be great, you must consider others more highly than yourself and be willing to serve them—no matter who they are, their place in society, or how much more “righteous” you are than them.
In other words: to go up, you have to go down. The first step in killing self-righteousness and becoming truly great in the Kingdom is to lower yourself to your knees in humility.
The apostle Paul put it this way,
“Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” (Phil. 2:5-11)
Don’t live your life believing the lies of self-righteousness that you need to prove your value and importance. You will never be satisfied with the results. There will always be more to prove, more to gain, and someone else that needs convincing.
Instead, surrender your life and sense of self-worth to Jesus. He has already declared you invaluable, priceless, and his treasured possession! He paid for your life with his blood. You are so valuable to him that he gave up his life so that you could truly live.
Don’t depreciate that divine appraisal with self-righteousness! Lift your head high and know your value in Christ. Know who he has created you to be: a beloved, priceless child of God.
Be loved. Be humble. Be righteous.
Be Free!
1 https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/deflection
